Sometimes what you want right now isn't what you actually need next.

The holiday season has a way of amplifying everything. The spending. The expectations. The pressure to show up in specific ways for specific people at specific times.

Black Friday deals flash across your screen. "70% off - today only!" Your inbox overflows with limited-time offers. Everything is urgent. Everything is now or never. Everything is designed to make you act before you think.

And underneath all of it, there's this constant hum: I should buy this. I should do this. I should be able to give them what they want. I should be further along. I should have more to show for myself.

But what if the most powerful question you could ask yourself has nothing to do with what you should do and everything to do with what's actually next?

Not what you want right now. Not what someone else expects from you. Not what the world is screaming at you to do immediately.

Just: What is the next right step?

The Tyranny of Right Now

We live in a culture of instant gratification that's gotten so normalized we don't even notice it anymore.

Want something? Click a button, and it arrives tomorrow. Want to feel better? Scroll until the dopamine hits. Want to avoid discomfort? There's an app, a substance, a distraction for that.

We've been trained to believe that if we want something, we should have it immediately. And if we can't have it immediately, something is wrong.

This shows up everywhere. In our spending. In our relationships. In our expectations of ourselves and others.

You see a sale. It's a good deal. You want the thing. The question becomes: "Can I afford this?" instead of "Is buying this the next right step for me right now?"

Those are completely different questions. And they lead to completely different outcomes.

"Can I afford this?" is a math problem. Do I have the money in my account? Can I put it on a credit card? Can I make it work somehow?

"Is this the next right step?" is a wisdom question. It requires you to pause. To feel into where you actually are. To consider not just whether you can do something, but whether doing it serves where you're trying to go.

The Question That Changed Everything for Me

I've changed my life in countless ways by learning to live under one simple filter: Is this the next right step?

Not: Do I want this? Not: Can I make this work? Not: What will people think if I don't do this?

Just: Is this the next right step for me, right now, given where I actually am and where I'm actually trying to go?

This question has saved me from spending money I didn't have on things I didn't actually need. Participating in things that were comfortable but wrong. From saying yes to opportunities that someone expected of me, but felt misaligned in my gut.

It's stopped me from chasing instant gratification and helped me build toward something that actually lasts. 

Because here's what instant gratification will never tell you: the relief you feel from getting what you want right now is almost always temporary. But the consequences of choosing wrong in this moment? Those can last for years.

When the Deal Isn't Actually a Deal

Let's talk about the holiday season specifically. The sales. The deals. The pressure to buy now or lose out forever.

70% off sounds amazing. And maybe it is, if you were already planning to buy that thing, if you have the money set aside, if it genuinely serves your life.

But if you're struggling financially, if money is tight, if you're already stressed about how you're going to make it through the month, that 70% off isn't a deal. It's a trap.

Because the question isn't whether you're getting a discount. The question is whether spending money right now, even at a reduced price, is the next right step for you.

Maybe the next right step is protecting what little financial stability you have. Maybe it's saying no to the pressure and yes to your own wellbeing. Maybe it's disappointing someone in the short term, so you don't drown in debt in the long term.

Maybe the next right step is choosing delayed gratification over instant relief.

I know that's not sexy. I know it doesn't feel good in the moment. I know there's a part of you that just wants to buy the thing, make the person happy, prove that you can show up in the way you think you should.

But "next right step" thinking isn't about what feels good right now. It's about what actually serves you over time.

The Same Pattern in Relationships

This exact same dynamic plays out in our relationships, just with different currency.

Instead of money, we're spending emotional energy. Instead of buying things, we're trying to meet needs - ours and other people's.

And just like with spending, we've been conditioned to believe that if someone has a need, we should meet it immediately. And if we can't, something is wrong with us.

Someone you love needs support. They're struggling. They need you to show up in a specific way, right now, in this moment.

The question becomes: "Can I do this for them?" instead of "Is meeting this need right now the next right step for me?"

And here's where it gets complicated. Because sometimes the answer is yes. Sometimes you have the capacity, the energy, the resources to show up. Sometimes meeting their need aligns with your own values and doesn't deplete you.

But sometimes the answer is no. Sometimes you're already running on empty. Sometimes you're in your own crisis. Sometimes meeting their need would require you to abandon yourself.

And that's where expectations collide with reality.

When You Can't Meet Someone Where They Want You

There will be times when people you care about have needs you cannot meet. Not because you don't love them. Not because you don't care. But because you are not in a position, personally, to show up in that specific way in that specific moment.

Maybe you're depleted. Maybe you're dealing with your own crisis. Maybe their need requires something you genuinely don't have to give right now.

And they might be hurt by this. They might feel let down. They might expect you to show up anyway because that's what they need from you.

But here's what nobody talks about: their expectation doesn't create your obligation.

You are not required to destroy yourself to meet someone else's needs. You are not required to show up beyond your capacity because they want you to. You are not required to make the "right now" choice that depletes you just to satisfy the "right now" expectation they have.

Sometimes the next right step is saying: "I can't meet you there right now. Not because you don't matter, but because I don't have what you're asking for in this moment."

That's not selfish. That's honest. And honesty, even disappointing honesty, serves relationships better than performance because performance leads to resentment. 

When Someone Can't Meet You Where You Need Them

And the reverse is equally true.

There will be times when you have needs that people you love cannot meet. Not because they don't care about you. Not because you don't matter to them. But because they are not in a position, personally, to show up for you in the way you want them to in that moment.

Maybe they're dealing with their own struggles. Maybe they don't have the emotional bandwidth. Maybe what you're asking requires something they simply cannot give right now because they don’t themselves have the answers.

And you might feel let down by this. You might feel hurt. You might expect them to show up anyway because that's what you need from them.

But here's the invitation: What if their inability to meet your need right now isn't a rejection of you? What if it's just the truth of where they are?

What if, instead of making their limitation mean something about your worth, you could recognize that they're doing their own version of "next right step"? And their next right step, in this moment, doesn't include being able to show up for you in the way you want?

That doesn't make you unimportant. It doesn't make them a bad person. It just means that timing and capacity don't always align with desire and need.

The Delayed Gratification Nobody Wants to Talk About

Here's what makes all of this so hard: delayed gratification feels terrible in the moment.

Not buying the thing when everyone else is buying things? You feel like you're missing out. Like you're being left behind. Like you can't participate in the joy everyone else seems to be experiencing.

Not meeting someone's need when they're asking you to? You feel guilty. Like you're failing them. Like you're not enough.

Not having your own needs met when you desperately want them to be? You feel unseen. Unimportant. Like you don't matter as much as you thought you did.

But instant gratification has a cost that delayed gratification doesn't.

When you spend money you don't have to feel better right now, you pay for that relief with months of financial stress later.

When you meet someone else's needs at the expense of your own capacity, you pay for that with resentment, depletion, and eventual breakdown.

When you demand that others meet your needs regardless of their capacity, you pay for that with damaged trust and distance in the relationship.

Delayed gratification, choosing the next right step instead of the right now relief, creates something that lasts instead of something that feels good temporarily.

How to Actually Live This Way

So how do you practice "next right step" thinking when everything in you wants the instant relief?

First, you have to slow down enough to ask the question. This is the hardest part. Because instant gratification works by creating urgency. "Act now or miss out forever." "They need you right this second." "You'll feel better if you just do this thing immediately."

Slow down anyway. Take a breath. Create even thirty seconds of space between the impulse and the action.

Second, ask the actual question: "Is this the next right step for me right now?"

Not: Do I want this? Not: Will this make me feel better temporarily? Not: Will this make them happy in this moment?

Is this the next right step for me, given where I actually am and where I'm actually trying to go?

Third, listen to the answer from your body, not just your mind. Your mind will rationalize anything. Your mind will tell you stories about why you should do the thing even when it's not aligned.

But your body knows. Drop the question into your gut. Feel whether it expands or contracts. Notice whether there's a sense of rightness or wrongness underneath the want.

Fourth, be willing to disappoint. This is non-negotiable. If you're going to live by "next right step" instead of "instant gratification," you will sometimes disappoint people. Including yourself.

You'll say no to purchases you want. You'll say no to people you love. You'll say no to opportunities that look good but don't feel right.

And you'll have to be okay with that disappointment being part of the process.

Fifth, trust that the right things find you at the right time. This is the faith part. When you practice delayed gratification, when you choose the next right step over the immediate want, you have to trust that you're not missing out on what's meant for you.

You're just making space for it to arrive when you're actually ready to receive it sustainably.

What This Looks Like in Real Life

Let me give you concrete examples, because this can feel abstract until you see it in action.

Example 1: The Holiday Sale

You see something on sale. It's 60% off. You want it. You ask: "Is buying this the next right step?"

You drop into your body. You feel a tightness in your chest. Your gut contracts slightly. You realize: you want this thing, but what you actually need next is to not add to your credit card debt. The next right step is protecting your financial stability, not getting a good deal on something you don't actually need right now.

You don't buy it. You feel the disappointment. You notice the FOMO. And you choose the next right step anyway.

Example 2: The Friend in Crisis

A friend calls. They're struggling. They need you to drop everything and be there for them right now. You ask: "Is meeting this need the next right step for me?"

You drop into your body. You notice you're already exhausted. You're running on empty. You realize: you love this person, but you genuinely don't have the capacity to show up in the way they're asking without pushing yourself past your capacity. The next right step is being honest about your limitations.

You tell them the truth: "I care about you and I can see you're struggling. I don't have the capacity to be there in the way you need right now, but I can [offer what you actually can do]."

They might be disappointed. You might feel guilty. You choose honesty over performance anyway and in the long run you gain respect for your honesty. 

Example 3: Your Own Unmet Need

You need support from your partner. You're going through something hard and you want them to show up in a specific way. You ask: "Is expecting them to meet this need right now the next right step?"

You drop into your body. You realize: they're dealing with their own crisis. They're maxed out. What you're asking for is valid, but they genuinely can't give it right now without breaking themselves.

You choose to either meet your own need differently, reach out to someone else who has capacity, or accept that this need might not get met exactly when and how you want it.

You feel the disappointment. You notice the hurt. You choose to not make their limitation mean you don't matter.

The Long Game

Here's what I've learned after years of practicing this: "Next right step" thinking is playing the long game in a culture obsessed with instant results.

It doesn't feel good in the moment. It requires you to tolerate discomfort. It asks you to trust that choosing wisely now will serve you better later even when later feels impossibly far away.

But it works. It creates stability instead of chaos. It builds relationships based on honesty instead of resentment. It generates actual wealth instead of the appearance of it. It develops self-trust instead of self-abandonment.

You stop living in constant reaction to whatever is screaming the loudest right now. You stop letting other people's expectations determine your choices. You stop choosing temporary relief at the cost of long-term wellbeing.

And slowly, over time, your life starts to reflect the choices you've been making from that deeper place. The place that asks "what's next" instead of "what's now." The place that chooses alignment over immediate gratification.

That's the Healing Frequency. Not instant. Not easy. But sustainable in a way that choosing for right now will never be.

An Invitation to Slow Down

If you're ready to stop living in constant reaction to urgency, if you're ready to practice choosing the next right step instead of instant gratification, if you're ready to build something that lasts instead of something that just feels good temporarily, sometimes you need support in slowing down enough to hear what's actually next.

A Reiki session creates exactly that space. Not to give you answers, but to help your nervous system regulate enough that you can access your own wisdom about what's truly right for you in this moment.

We work with your energy to clear the urgency, the pressure, the noise that makes everything feel like it needs to happen right now. We help your system remember that you have time. That the next right step will reveal itself when you're calm enough to see it.

You'll leave feeling more grounded. More clear about what's actually yours to do next versus what you're just being pressured into.

My Reiki Bundle is on sale now.

Because the life you're trying to build doesn't happen through instant gratification. It happens through thousands of small moments where you choose the next right step instead of the right now relief.

And learning to make that choice requires you to slow down in a world designed to speed you up.

The deals will always be there. The needs will always be there. The expectations will always be there.

But you only get one life. And how you navigate it matters more than how quickly you move through it.

What's the next right step for you? Not what do you want right now. Not what does someone else expect. Not what looks good or feels urgent.

What's actually next?

That question, asked from depth and answered honestly, will guide you better than any sale, any expectation, any pressure to act before you're ready.

Trust it. Even when it asks you to wait. Even when it asks you to disappoint. Even when it asks you to choose differently than everyone around you.

The next right step is always the right choice. Even when right now is screaming at you to choose something else.